A couple years ago, I had several people I was trying to help with similar issues. I was walking along and thinking/praying about what essences they needed and suddenly out of desperation said, "God, you've got to give me a flower for rejection!" Instantly my focus got redirected to a little weed in bloom and I thought "No way is it that easy." Then He said "Neglecta."
Neglect, rejection.... "Ohhhhhhh!"
"Neglecta" is the species name, and names many times do matter. It's not coincidental that Impatients cures impatience for example. I'm not sure if we intuitively tap in when we name, or if it's that our intention is honored and we are co-creating. Maybe both, as we sense the potential in a plant and call it into being.
The entire Malva flower family (that's the genus to our neglecta species) deals with relational issues, especially helping a person to open up, and break down the barriers to having a healthy relationship. Each type of Malva has it's own specific spin on things.
So I make my little rejection essence and I give it a try. I had the worst healing crisis of my life. If you are familiar with homeopathy, you know how if you take a remedy when nothing is wrong with you, you get the very thing it's supposed to fix? That seemed to be what happened. A three day crying fit of "nobody loves me, everybody hates me, guess I'll just eat worms."
When I finally started answering the phone again I told a friend "Never take this essence. Never." And I put it on the shelf for two years.
So here I am now dealing with a lot of rejection. Or at least the perception of it. I magnify every little slight and assume the worst. It's not my norm, and on one level I know the craziness of my thoughts.
"it's not what it looks like. It's not what it looks like."
Yet I feel hurt and very used. Head and heart arguing. Head keeps presenting facts. Heart doesn't give a rip. Facts don't change feelings. I am like a wild animal who just wants to be at home with someone.
So, with fear and trembling I pull Malva back off the shelf.
First dose, feels cool and nice. Not so scary anymore. I have a sudden surge of creativity. The transparent, honest-about-inner-world kind like you're reading now.
Second dose: Bravery. The wild animal can be approached without running or attacking.
Next day: It's starting to break. The obsessive thoughts are loosing their grip. By evening, downright friendly and in good humor.
So I'm guessing this came around for a reason and someone is down in the dirt eating worms right now. I have a solution.
Here's my official write up on Malva.
Malva aids in stopping the cycles of rejection. For many of us life is always about what we perceive things to be and not what they necessarily are in reality. An initial trauma of rejection can sensitize a person to further perceived "slights" any time another falls short of what is expected in the relationship. This can cause distancing, "I'll leave so you can't hurt me." or hostility which prompts those they are in relationship with to also become defensive and withdraw. The cycle completes with the person feeling justified in their initial perception.
Malva helps to desensitize, soothe and unravel the reinforced patterning. Stopping the rejection cycle is the only way to obtain what's needed through relationships. Malva prompts the bravery needed to stay and experience the reality that's beyond the initial perception, and melt away the feelings of paranoia and not being loved.
